i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
