I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
