He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize