This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
