I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
