I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I wish I only lived at night.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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