Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
