I wish i was in the wii world.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
