I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
