Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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