why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she smelled like a LAN party
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
