If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
So. Much. Porn.
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