ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
