i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
