Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
