Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
