i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
