there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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