OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I wear drunk well.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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