There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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