my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
