office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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