Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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