Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
