"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
