Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
