the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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