My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
