apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
