apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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