She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
