Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Randomize
