We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
