So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
