She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
