So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
