You're my little dorito
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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