HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
