I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
