He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I would fuck him just for his dog
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
