he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
