hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
