I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
this hospital has no fireball
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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