an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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