? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
