All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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