If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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