bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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