So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
