Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just want nice things and good sex
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
