Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
