Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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