There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
