Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
