I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
