every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
