Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
What a dumb baby whore.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
