Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize