lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so that wasnt chicken after all
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
