spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
