So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
