I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
