Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Enjoy the penises
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
