I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
