I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
