He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
