Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize