Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
