he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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