high people should be assigned attendants
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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